the return email...

I am sorry it's taken me so long to get back to you. You didn't blow anything, but the more hectic my life gets, I think it's only fair to stop seeing you. I can't devote enough time or attention to you, and I'm not even sure at this point when or if I will have the time or money to get away to visit or to have a visitor here.

You haven't done anything wrong, but I don't want you to spend all this time and attention on me when I can't do the same for you. You have been kind enough to keep asking for less and less from me, but at this point in my life, I just don't have time to devote to a relationship and you deserve someone who can appreciate all the sweet attention you have to offer.

I am sorry for hurting you, if I have. The time we spent together was wonderful. But, every day that I keep you waiting for a phone call or an email, I feel guiltier. Every time I open the mailbox and have three or four pieces of mail and haven't sent you even one, I feel worse. You are a great woman and have a lot to offer someone who will treat you right, but I can't be that person right now.

I still have some feelings for my ex I need to work out. I have my job, all the travel, an apartment to set up on my own, and friends and family obligations too. Adding another obligation to the mix when I can't make you a priority is not fair to you. You will find someone some day who can return your undivided attention, but I can't be that person.

I understand if you never want to see or hear from me again. And I'm not going to make some polite gesture that maybe another time would be better or leave you with a "maybe one day." I want you to find happiness and even love. But I don't want to lead you on and pretend that I anticipate my life getting any less complicated any time soon. Thank you for showing me what I deserve in a relationship when I am ready for one some day. But I can't be there for you, so I have to let you go.

Our time together was very special. I will send Ernie back to you, because I know he has sentimental value. And thank you for showing me what I deserve when the time is right. Now is not the time. I feel bad sending you this in an email, but honestly, I am too chicken to hear the hurt in your voice if I hurt you. I'm not proud of it, but I am. I am completely taking the wimpy way out here, so maybe that will make it easier for you to hate me instead of be sad. I am not feeling like an amazing person right now for doing this, but it's only fair to you.

Please save your love and time and attention for someone who can give you the same back. I am not that woman.